What will it be like when I don't see Volcan Agua every day? When I'm not surrounded by blooming flowers everywhere I go? Or bright colors on every wall?

Guatemala is real and honest. Sometimes there are horrifically unpleasant odors or exceptionally large insects. Sometimes I see people sniffing glue to ward off their hunger pains. Sometimes I see children without shoes on their feet begging for money or food. Starving stray dogs. Human feces on the sidewalks. Men with machine guns.

But.

We get smiles from everyone we meet. Everyone loves children. Everyone. We can't go anywhere without people touching Bella, talking to her, asking questions about her. It's no wonder Bella thinks the world revolves around her! In Guatemala, it most certainly revolves around children!

The typical food is delicious. The fruit is the freshest and sweetest I've ever had. Everything is slower and easier. No rush here. There's an ice cream store on every corner. Walking is the normal means of travel. Women carry their children everywhere in traditional slings. Breastfeeding is not only accepted, but openly practised.

I love it here. I love the noises of the buses, the sound of fireworks at all hours of the day and night, and the aroma of fresh tortillas and roasted chicken. I've raised my baby here. I've strengthened my faith here. I've wept here and laughed here and met beautiful, lifetime friends here.

I've dreamt of going home for a very long time, but the closer that day comes, the more bittersweet it feels.