It's after midnight and I can't sleep. I've got too much stuff running through my head. There is the practical list of things to do, places to go, people to see, stuff to buy and the emotional list of worries and wonderings and rejoicings, yada, yada, yada. Both lists are pretty overwhelming right now. Oh, I am THRILLED to be going home, but it's going to be rough. To think otherwise would be completely naive. I haven't driven a car, been in a regular grocery store, pumped gas, cleaned a house, walked my dog, eaten a pickle, or shared a bedroom with my husband in fifteen months. I've been surrounded with support throughout this process, and although I know people won't stop caring automatically once I hit U.S. soil, the drama of the Freeman adoption will gradually pass. I'm moving to a new city where I don't know anyone. I also won't know where anything is, which pediatrician is good, who has the best coffee... you get the picture. I just want to have a realistic view of what is before me.
It's going to be amazing to be together as a family, especially for the holidays. I can't wait to put Bella to bed in a real crib, as opposed to the uncomfortable pack-n-play that is currently her bed here. I can't wait to put up a Christmas tree and see the wonder in her eyes. I can't wait for Greg and I's weekly date nights to resume. There's so much to build as a family now, so many memories to make. I can't wait!
I guess what it all boils down to is that, although this adoption journey is coming to a close, a new journey is just beginning.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Insomnia
Posted by Sharon at 11:19 PM
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5 comments:
you will do FINE mainly because youre so aware!
my biggest SHOCK and I wasnt gone too long was the impact my now having a baby had only existing friendships (those with older kids)
I dont know if this is what you wanna hear :) but OFT were the times I longed to have moved and have met people as CARLA WITH BABY and not felt the weirdness of old dynamics while forcing myself to get out there and meet people.
hope that makes ANY SENSE as I,too, had insomnia
Tears again!!!
I am often reminded to pray of you as I wasl round my house...we have 3 or 4 little signs posted around the house that say, "PRAY FOR SHARON AND BELLA". These will stay up for awhile longer. We will continue to pray for you guys with this transition.
I am so excited about the "toddler shower"...we are going to have so much celebrating together even at the distance.
Transitions are always tough, but also exciting. I'm praying for you.
And, incidentally ... Bella looks about 3 or 4 in the countdown picture!
I know it's hard to stop thinking -- there's just sooo much to go thru your head! We're praying for all those small (and big) details! And yes, this C-mas will be like NO other!!
Your life will definitely be different when you finaly arrive back in the US. If it helps, it is much easier to meet people with a baby in tow so moving to a new town now is much easier than it would have been before. I am sure you will love being able to drive, but also sometimes miss not being able to walk to get where you want to go. And you will definitely hae to adjust to cleaning house with a baby - not as fun. SO much to look forward to and so much still left to do - no wonder you have insomnia. Please continue your blog once you get home. Too many of us will miss you if you stop :)
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